A little mockery goes a long way
by Thatkliqkid
Summary: ONESHOT. Hunter’s in a foul mood backstage, Shawn tries to lighten the mood. Based on the Raw from DX’s reunion.


"_I think he's mad_

_I know he's grouchy _

_He's got the looks_

_That drives the Jobbers wild_

_He's got the moves _

_To squash carlito _

_He'll never lose_

_Just ask online _

_He's just a grumpy guts _

_(Grumpy guts)_

_He kisses Vince's butt _

_(Vince's butt)_

_He's just a grumpy guts_

_(Grumpy guts)_

_He kisses Vince's butt_

_(VINCE'S BUTTT!)"_

"Drum solo!"

Hunter gritted his teeth as Shawn's wailing ceased, an interlude in his insulting ditty as he pounded his glow sticks against his friend's shoulder in a frantic beat.

He turned sharply as one wayward glow stick struck his collar bone, a look of pure disdain on his features.

Shawn grinned goofily.

Distracted from chastising Shawn by idle chatter in the hallway, Hunter rounded his fury on innocent bystanders

"Keep it down!" he barked angrily

"GOING LIVE" hollered Shawn with a consoling grin trying his damndest to quell Hunter's foul mood.

"This is live time you know, _now" _

"They get it" hissed Shawn

"Oh shut up"

Shawn stopped a few feet from the Gorilla position, glow sticks defiantly by his side, he wasn't going anywhere when Hunter was like this – and he sure as hell wasn't responding to his instructions when he fired them like a drill sergeant. He'd had his time under the Colonel thank you very much, nineteen years of service was more than ample and he was now discharged.

"Move!" commanded Hunter bitingly

"Um how about no?"

"Shawn! We're going live"

"We got commercial"

"WILL YOU JUST MOVE?!"

"Quit yelling at everyone and being a prick" snapped Shawn furiously

"Like you can talk, the amount of crap everyone got from you?"

"That's right, 1997 _is _accountable for your mood" countered Shawn rolling his eyes, "Just because Claire-"

"For the fifty millionth time her name is Murphy!" interjected Hunter waspishly

"For the fifty millionth time Murphy is a _boy's _name and your daughter is a girl!" replied Shawn

"She's mine and Steph's kid, we named her Murphy – will you quit using her middle name and giving her a complex!"

"She hates her stupid name anyway; it's almost as bad as Michael"

"How would you know if she hates her name?" growled Hunter defensively, "She's three months old!"

" Ah you can tell by the look she gets whenever you call her Murphy, she gets all teary eyed"

" She's a baby! That's what babies do!"

" Not when you call them their name!"

" Oh like you can talk anyway"

" Hey! My children have normal names" cried Shawn, offended.

"Oh right how many children do you know named Cheyenne, who don't live with Pocahontas?"

"At least it's a girl's name" shrugged Shawn, "And I know two so ha!"

"Who was the other idiot who wanted their child constantly in a Thanksgiving pageant?"

"Chris"

"He doesn't count he's a wife punching, TV wielding N*sync reject!"

"But he can still name his daughter with a gender appropriate name, unlike _some_ people" replied Shawn, "And back to the matter at hand, just because Claire keeps you up at night is no excuse for your tyrannical rant at innocent folk"

"They were making noise!"

"Oh call the FBI, a bit of noise at a TV taping" scoffed Shawn, "You made more noise than they did. When it's played back, people are only gonna hear you being a jerk"

"They'll hear you being a fool"

"So? I'll come across as stupid; you'll come across as the asshole everyone says you are" Shawn pointed out, "And all because you got woke up one time"

"It was not one time; it was every three hours and you weren't so logical bac-"

" Oh for goodness sake Hunt move on from my jerkish days! You're starting to sound like you hail from Montreal"

" Just get out there"

" Just get out there " mimicked Shawn childishly

" Idiot"

" Idiot" repeated Shawn

" What are you doing?"

" What are _you_ doing?" Shawn questioned

" Will you just shut up and get ready to prance about like you usually do?"

" Sure, you can look like the world just ended. I mean DX isn't meant to be about fun or anything" scoffed Shawn.

" Back from commercial!"

The holler cut through the backstage area

" Are you gonna get into position or not?" snapped Hunter

" Not" muttered Shawn

" I'll go out without you"

" Oh I bet" snorted Shawn, " Good luck with that"

"Why are you being so annoying?"

"Because you're in a foul mood"

"Oh yeah I can see how you being a tool would totally change that around"

Shawn glowered beneath his hat, before stepping to his mark.

" You know I was gonna be nice during the skit but now, well you're just asking for nose jokes"

" Like The Half bald kid can talk" Hunter shot back

" Ouch" Shawn feigned heartache, " Below the belt brother"

"Ok what about half blind kid?"

"Why have you got to rearrange the acronym?"

"When did you learn what an acronym was?" joked Hunter a small smile playing on terse lips.

Shawn shrugged.

They stood, silence engulfing them as their announcement echoed through the arena, the first thud of " Are you ready" pounded and Shawn took a step forward, faltered as Hunter's hand grabbed his arm.

" I'm sorry"

Shawn looked at him.

" yeah me too"

" So we're cool?"

" We're DX, When are we not?" grinned Shawn

" ok I'm cool you're just lame" muttered Hunter wryly

"But proud of it"

"Dork" sneered Hunter pulling the curtain back to a glorified roar of anticipation

"Again, oh so proud" Shawn whispered

"You would be"

"Don't make me hit you with the glow sticks again" warned Shawn

" Just don't sing anymore stupid songs about me"

" Break the walls down! For those about to politick!" cried Shawn

" Zip it!" commanded Hunter through his sniggers, " Now can we get into work mode?"

" If we must" sighed Shawn stepping forward onto the stage to an explosion of cheers, a considerably happier Hunter close behind.


End file.
